Saturday 14 February 2009

And another thing...

... despite appearances to the contrary online, I am actually coping reasonably well, given the circumstances...

11 comments:

kairu said...

Phew. I was beginning to get concerned.

Most of the day it's been showing as a blank front page, but the links to previous posts on the side of the page seem to be working.

jaywalker said...

From my own experience, one of the hardest things to do is to resist indulging in some form of "stalking". Despite my best intentions I found myself driving round the area they were living in, looking for his car in places I knew he frequented and so on. It seems like some sort of primal urge but it's hugely frustrating and non-productive. The "other woman" in my case, actually wrote me a letter to tell me what a loser I was and what a winner she was!! However, I am happy to tell you that their relationship only lasted a few years and he found himself back on the singles circuit and spent many years going from one failed relationship to another before he finally found someone to put up with him - either that or he changed!! My advice, having been there and looking back on what I should have done more of - go on talking to your women friends and indulge yourself as much as possible and whatever you do (which I'm sure you won't) don't present yourself to him as a victim or loser. As soon as you feel able, get yourself back in the market and go out with any male friends you have who will wine you and dine you even just as a friend.

GlassCurls said...

It was strange - the main page was all blank, but your archive was working fine.

I really don't know what to say, as having never been in a relationship, I've never been near this in reality. So, I'll just carry on doing what I normally do - reading your blog and supporting you that way ...

Justine Picardie said...

Jean, thanks for the good advice. I am talking to close female friends, which helps.
Oxford Reader and Kairu -- the paperback edition of Daphne is coming out at the beginning of March, so perhaps you could spread the word online? That would be a hugely practical help for me right now.

GlassCurls said...

Yes, of course Justine. Have you got any bookshop etc visits scheduled? My friends are pretty widely dispersed throughout the British isles, thanks to the commonly held view that one should go to University as far from one's parents as possible!

Jill said...

What got me through a lot of black days were my women friends, my bookclub and a good sense of humour. I did the stalking thing once. I went to his new apartment and watched from the car. The other woman was there at the "lovenest" I could see him showing her around and preparing dinner. I planned confront them but I had to get home to make a birthday cake for one of the kids.
Really I was too busy with the children and working to indulge this "primal urge" as you call it Jean, plus he got blinds for his windows..ha! There is quite a lot I wish I had done differently.
On Tuesday my bookclub is discussing "My Mother's Wedding Dress" I will read an extract from "Daphne" and pass on the news of the paperback soon to be out

Justine Picardie said...

Jill, thank you so much, and thank you everyone for your kindness and warmth. The great thing about having kids is there are cakes to be made, even in the darkest of hours. Mind you, have just eaten shop-bought yet curiously delicious M&S chocolate caterpillar cake with my sons and beloved god-daughter (it was her 19th birthday, and she wanted the caterpillar cake, just as she did when she was a little girl).

kairu said...

I would be glad to try and get the word out. I am looking forward to it, myself - although Amazon tells me the paperback will not be available until August. (!?).

I find the idea of a "chocolate caterpillar cake" quite intriguing. And now I want cake. Oh dear.

Justine Picardie said...

Paperback is out the first week of March. Spread the word!

GlassCurls said...

My birthday is the first week in March, and if I didn't already have a copy I'd demand it for my birthday. Sadly i think it might be seen as over-egging the custard a little! However, I did manage to persuade a friend to buy the hardback at the weekend.

Francesca said...

When my husband nearly left me for another woman the worst punishment of all was that I couldn't read anything-or listen to music- or enjoy much at all.I wept at the Caravaggio exhibition and that helped.My thoughts are with you.